Ending the Grasp of “I’ll Be Happy When…”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been waiting for a moment to feel truly happy. Whether it was launching Divine Events, finally settling into a routine, or simply getting enough sleep, I always found myself thinking, “I’ll be happy when…” But every time I reached that elusive “when,” the feeling I was chasing slipped through my fingers. It was as though happiness was a destination that kept moving just beyond my reach.
Over time, I realized this constant pursuit wasn’t bringing me peace- it was keeping me stuck in a cycle of grasping. No matter how many milestones I reached or dreams I achieved, there was always another “when” waiting for me. I couldn’t be content until that next thing had been crossed off the list.
The truth is, happiness isn’t something to be earned or delayed. It’s in the moments we’re living right now, not somewhere down the road. The ongoing journey of letting go is about releasing the grip on those “whens” and learning to embrace the present for what it is- imperfect, fleeting, and full of potential.
As Alan Watts wisely said:
“We thought of life by analogy with a journey… with pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end. But the point was to dance while the music was being played.”
We live in a ‘resume’ culture- a society where we feel the need to show and prove our achievements. Resting is often met with judgment rather than acceptance.
Personally, I’ve felt this deeply. There’s been an ever-flowing desire within me to show the world- my ex-friends, current friends, family- how well I’m doing. It’s like a deep-rooted need for some type of praise and approval. Even while it isn’t always at the forefront with everything I do, I know it still lingers in the background. “I’ll be happy when I have so many certifications my resume is overflowing.”
This cultural pressure wears a bright yellow mask that says, “You Can Do It!” but underneath, it hides a judgmental contract, listing everything that’s deemed a “waste of time.”
Cultivating awareness in your daily activities can help break the cycle of, “I need this done now” or “I’ll be happy when…” because it brings you into the present moment.
One simple way we can do this is by slowing down. Eat without distractions, choose an outfit with intention, drive a little slower or take a few moments to meditate. There are countless ways to cultivate awareness- these are just a few to get started.
When I moved to a small town and finally experienced the gift of simply being- listening to the hum of birds in the morning, the songs of the wind in the trees, the cascade of stars at night- I realized how much of it I was missing.
Life isn’t about what goes on a piece of paper to prove we’re worthy. It’s about the moments we experience while we’re here, the connection we make, and the peace we cultivate within.
One of my favorite songs says, “I want a simple life, I want a life that’s easy. I want to reach new heights with someone who believes in me.” To me, that’s the goal. Like the Buddha sitting with Mara, instead of resisting, we can flow and trust with patience and love.
Practice awareness, practice gratitude, practice patience.
Remember, happiness isn’t something you have to chase or earn- it’s in the little moments, the quiet pauses, and the simple joys that we experience every day. So, let’s embrace the dance while the music is playing and let go of the ‘when.’
Letting go isn’t a one-time decision- it’s an ongoing journey, one that I continue to navigate, as we all do, with patience and love.
You’re not alone in your journey.
Thank you for joining me and being here today.
I’d love to hear how you experience the “I’ll be happy when…” moments in your life, and what helps you shift into the present. Please share in the comments or feel free to reach out!
Blessings!
Divine Events 
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