There’s a moment- quiet, still, sometimes paralyzing- when fear finds you. Or maybe more truthfully, when you find fear. It’s easy to imagine fear as a shadow lurking in the corner, something to run from or avoid. But the truth is, “the dark” doesn’t always knock. Sometimes, it creeps in unexpectedly. Sometimes, it surrounds you. And sometimes, it’s been within you all along.
We often think courage means being fearless. But real courage is feeling the fear, hearing its voice, standing in the darkness- and choosing to move anyway. Not because you’ve silenced the fear, but because you’ve decided it doesn’t get to write the ending.
This isn’t just a story about being afraid of the dark. This is about every kind of darkness we face: fear of change, of failure, of being seen, of not being enough, even fear of things outside our control- like the state of politics or the unsettling shifts in Hollywood. And how, with time, curiosity, and a little audacity, we learn to meet the dark with a light of our own.
- Not So Fearless, Still Moving
- Audacity in Action: Lessons from the Wild (and Animated)
- The Many Faces of the Dark
- Fear We Can’t Always Control
- Moving with Fear
- Becoming the Light
Not So Fearless, Still Moving
A Light I Had to Find Myself
When I started my spiritual journey, I made a list of things that I wanted to work on- emotional weight I felt I was carrying, holding me back. This list included guilt from my past, hurt feelings from old situations, insecurities, the grasp for validation and needing to be liked… and the fear of the dark.
Facing these things wasn’t easy. Confronting my trauma has been one of the scariest tasks I’ve ever taken on- and it hasn’t stopped. When you look into the depths of your trauma, you have to face the situation. Sometimes even relive it. You allow yourself to feel the pain, the fear, the abuse… everything. You open yourself to what you experienced and hold yourself in a new way- a way you didn’t receive when it first happened.
Sometimes trauma comes up when you least expect it. You’ll be in the middle of doing the dishes, remember something, and suddenly pause like, what the f**k? You see a situation in a new light and feel sadness, anger, or hurt you didn’t even realize you were still carrying.
Healing trauma and pursuing shadow work is not for the faint of heart. But as we’ll explore throughout this post, we’re not trying to silence fear- we’re simply not letting it control the ending.
When I started working on my insecurities and my need for validation, it brought up a whole new fear: the fear of confrontation, and even the fear of change. If I’m not this insecure, scared, hurt person- then who am I? I had to ask myself questions like:
Where did I get the idea that I’m not worthy of love?
Where did I get the idea that my partner can’t watch p*rn?
Where did I get the idea that I’m in competition with every single human around me?
And as I peeled back those layers… I found myself confronting my trauma all over again- just in new ways.
Healing from insecurities and rewiring my brain into new thought patterns (which I’m still working on) eventually brought me face-to-face with my longest-standing fear: the dark.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve feared what might be lurking in the corners we can’t see. A few years ago, I set a goal to finally conquer that fear. I travel alone. I try new things. I regularly push myself into (safe) situations that scare me. I no longer wanted to fear the dark. So, I made little goals- camping alone and sitting in my bedroom with the lights off.
But I never actually got around to it.
Instead, life handed me a series of experiences that made me confront a whole different set of fears first. A semi-toxic relationship with someone I’d known most of my life- someone who could never truly choose me. Leaving him brought up the fear of being unlovable, of not being chosen, of meeting new people, and of course, the fear of change.
Then came a new toxic relationship that introduced a fear of being physically hurt (which I painfully worked through). Toxic co-workers who used everything I said against me, which made me fear being myself (also painfully worked through). Hosting guided meditations and speaking publicly brought the fear of being unqualified, and of being seen (still working through). Moving to a new city for the first time in my life made me confront change in a whole new way. And stepping into a path that goes against my parents’ beliefs brought up the fear of guilt and shame.
All of this… but still no fear of the dark- until a few weeks ago.
The weather had finally started to warm up, so I decided to go for a walk- at 11:00 p.m. This small town I moved to is nothing like the city. It’s the kind of dark I had never known. And for the first time ever, I truly had to face that childhood fear. I’m still working on it.
But I honestly believe the universe brought it to me when I was finally ready. There were more important lessons to learn first- lessons that gave me the confidence to stand in the dark and feel the fear without running from it. I set the desire… and the universe handled the rest.
Now that I’ve grown more, I’ve come face-to-face with broader fears- like politics and the unsettling shifts in Hollywood. Things completely out of our control. But we can talk more about that later.
You might ask, how do you travel alone and go on late-night walks if you’re scared? How do you keep moving with fear in your chest?
And honestly? It’s not easy.
I adopted a little motto: Do it for the plot. Some people say, F**k around and find out. Whatever version works for you- if it makes you laugh or gives you that extra push- it helps. To me, it says: Yes, I’m scared.. but I’m doing it anyway.
Another thing that’s helped is my absolute hatred of the feeling I should have done that. You know the one- when you’re at the river with friends, and they’re all swinging into the water from a rope hanging from a tree. They cheer you on, but you freeze. You don’t do it. And later, that’s all you can think about: I should’ve jumped.
Personally, I despise that feeling. I’d rather stare fear in the face than let it stop me from living my life.
Audacity in Action: Lessons from the Wild (and Animated)
Sometimes the most inspiring lessons about fear don’t come from books or teachers-but from cartoons, movies, and animals that couldn’t care less about being scared- or who stand up to their fear for a greater purpose.
Take, for example, Avatar: The Last Airbender. There’s a scene where Prince Zuko is struggling with himself, battling shame, fear, and the weight of his past. And then there’s Aang- gentle, playful, and scared- but he still shows up. He doesn’t wait to stop being afraid; he just moves with it. And that moment taught me something important: bravery doesn’t always look like roaring into battle. Sometimes it looks like choosing peace. Choosing presence. Choosing to show up even when you’d rather run.
There’s even an episode where Aang has to confront a face-stealing spirit that attacks when any emotion is shown. But despite his fear, he faces the terrifying spirit anyway.
Or in How to Train Your Dragon- right after Hiccup shoots down the Night Fury, he goes to find it. After nearly being attacked and having only ever been told that dragons are dangerous, he still chooses to follow his heart. He goes back again and again, and ends up gaining a lifelong best friend.
In Brother Bear, Denahi chases fear to avenge his brother.
In Finding Nemo, Marlin chases fear to find his son.
In Monsters Inc., Sully changes the entire monster world to save Boo- despite his fear. And in Moana, Up, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Spiderman, Hunger Games, Hacksaw Ridge- so many stories show us again and again: Perseverance through fear leads to incredible results.
And then… There are cats. Yes, cats. Creatures who regularly square up with animals ten times their size. There are actual videos of cats standing their ground against bears- and the bears run away. Not because they aren’t afraid- but because they’re just that bold. That’s the energy I aspire to sometimes. Not fearless. Just… audacious.
These little moments, whether animated, fictional, or furry, are reminders that fear is natural. But how we respond to it is a choice. Whether it’s showing up, standing tall, or simply refusing to be backed into a corner, sometimes the best inspiration comes from the unexpected.
The Many Faces of the Dark
Fear wears a lot of masks. Sometimes it’s a shadow in the corner of your childhood bedroom. Other times, it’s walking into a room where you feel like you don’t belong. It’s the pit in your stomach before a big change, the lump in your throat when you want to speak up, the quiet voice that whispers, what if I’m not enough?
The dark isn’t always literal. In fact, it rarely is. The “dark” can be doubt, rejection, shame, failure, uncertainty- any space where you feel unsteady and unseen. And just like with a room after the lights go out, your imagination tends to fill in the gaps with the worst-case scenario.
And for a lot of people… the dark feels endless.
Not everyone moves through fear. Not everyone faces it. Sometimes it’s easier- safer even- to stay exactly where you are. In comfort. In what’s familiar. Relying on someone else to light the way. Waiting for permission. Waiting for a break. Waiting for something to change without realizing that change starts within.
It’s easy to get stuck in a loop of “Why does this always happen to me?” or “Why can’t I catch a break?”
It’s human. It’s valid.
But sometimes, staying in that mindset is just another form of fear- one that whispers you can’t, so you don’t even try.
To be honest, saying “I can’t” is a limitation in itself. The moment we say it, we’ve already closed the door. But the truth is- there’s very little we can’t do, as long as it’s within the realm of earthly physics. You might not fly without a plane or bend time (yet), but healing, changing, growing, speaking up, walking away, trying again?
You can.
Because what if the dark isn’t here to scare us?
What if it’s here to show us something?
We often wait to feel brave before we move. We wait for the fear to leave before we try something new, speak our truth, or take the leap. But most of the time? That moment of absolute courage never comes. You just… move anyway. You walk through the dark with your heart pounding, trusting that your feet will find the floor beneath you.
Because courage isn’t the absence of fear- it’s the decision to keep going in spite of it.
And when you start to see “the dark” this way- not as an enemy, but as a guide- you realize something: Every moment you felt afraid was actually preparing you to expand. To grow. To rise. It’s not always easy. It’s rarely comfortable. But it’s real. And it’s powerful.
Fear We Can’t Always Control
Not all fear is rooted in trauma or insecurity. Some fear comes from simply existing in a world that feels heavy. From things we can’t change overnight.
The state of politics. The distortion of truth in the media. The unsettling energy in Hollywood. War. Injustice. Cruelty. Greif. Loss. Death.
These fears live in the collective. They aren’t always fears we can fix or walk through- they just exist. And it’s okay to feel the weight of that. It’s okay to be overwhelmed, unsure, or deeply saddened by the state of the world.
In Buddhism, monks often practice meditations for the suffering of others. They grieve not just for themselves or their loved ones- but for people they’ve never met. They send out ripples of compassion into the world as an act of healing.
That, too, is a form of resistance. A quiet offering of light in the face of darkness.
It’s important to stay informed- but it’s just as important to protect your peace.
We weren’t meant to carry the weight of the entire world in our pockets, on our screens, every hour of the day. Constant access to information can turn into overwhelm. And the echo chambers we can fall into- can keep fear looping on repeat.
You’re not selfish for stepping away. You’re not out of touch for choosing peace.
You’re allowed to care deeply and create space for stillness.
You’re allowed to hope for better and rest your nervous system.
You’re allowed to turn off the noise and turn inward.
Because in a world that profits off your fear, your peace is a radical act.
And it matters.
Moving with Fear
Let’s be real: fear doesn’t just disappear because you’ve had a breakthrough or read an inspiring quote. It shows up again and again- in different forms, wearing different outfits, speaking with different voices. But the more you learn to move with it instead of against it, the easier it becomes to recognize that you’re in control, not the fear.
Here are a few ways I’ve learned to walk with fear instead of letting it lead:
1. Accept yourself & know your feelings.
By getting to know your trauma, triggers and emotions, you can slowly start to accept yourself- to live unapologetically as you. By becoming a safe place for yourself, you give yourself the space to breathe and live without the burden of embarrassment, shame, or guilt.
2. Know your why.
When the fear feels overwhelming, come back to your why.
Why do you want to speak up? Why do you want to go on that trip, take that job, leave that relationship, follow that dream?
Fear might scream “what if?”– but your why can whisper “because I deserve to.”
3. Be aware of your truth.
Sometimes we allow other people’s opinions, wants, or fears to become our own. We let others stop us from living in our truth. Society often dictates how we live because we’re afraid of not being accepted or of being judged.
It’s important to be open to others’ perspectives- but with boundaries. Don’t let their fears limit your growth and your journey.
A big moment for me was when I went to Baja Mexico alone for a week-long meditation retreat. Everyone and their dog told me not to go. It was “too dangerous” and a “bad idea.”
I went anyway- and had the time of my life. Top five best experiences I’ve had in this lifetime. It was the first time I felt truly understood and seen within my spirituality.
If I’d listened to everyone else and allowed their fear to stop me… I probably wouldn’t be who I am today. I definitely wouldn’t have started my company.
4. Watch your words.
What we say becomes what we believe. Swap “I can’t” for “I’m learning” or “I’m figuring this out.”
Swap “This is too much” with “This is stretching me.”
You’re not lying to yourself- you’re choosing words that support your evolution, not shut it down.
5. Accept that fear doesn’t mean “stop.”
Fear is a signal, not a stop sign. It means something matters. Something’s stretching. It’s okay to pause, breathe, and assess- but keep moving (as long as you’re not in a harmful or dangerous situation). You can hold fear in one hand and faith in the other.
6. Make it playful.
Sometimes fear needs to be taken seriously- but sometimes, it needs to be laughed at. That’s where mottos like “Do it for the plot” come in. It turns a scary moment into a bold story beat.
You’re no longer running from fear- you’re starring in a character arc. Drama, tension, growth- this is cinema.
7. Remember: You’ve done scary things before.
Think back. You’ve survived heartbreak, hard choices, awkward moments, major change. That wasn’t by accident. That was you. And you’ll do it again.
8. Lean into disliking limitation.
By embracing the freedom of living- and dissolving those “I should have done that” moments- facing fear becomes easier. Experience by experience, you begin looking fear in the face and choosing to move anyway. It becomes liberating.
Becoming the Light
The truth is, fear doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re alive. It means you care. And that… is powerful.
That dark might still find you. It might wrap around you in moments of doubt, change, grief, or growth. But you are no longer helpless in its presence. Because now you know: You can move. You have moved. And you will continue to move- step by step, story by story, fear by fear.
You don’t have to wait until you feel fearless.
You don’t have to wait until it’s easy.
You just have to start walking- heart-pounding, hands shaking, but feet still moving.
Because the dark was never here to destroy you.
It was here to meet you. To reveal you. To ask- are you ready to become the light?
And maybe… just maybe… you already are.
You’re not alone in your journey.
Remember to believe in yourself, trust yourself, and love yourself.
I would love to hear from you! What is something that you have feared but faced anyway? Drop a comment or reach out!
If you’re looking for new music, here’s a song I find to be highly inspirational.
Blessings, friends.
Divine Events 
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